Shear Genius 2 on Shear Genius 3 - Charlie Price

Final Four

Hey freaks! Sorry I was away for a week, I was doing a Shear Genius All – Stars event at America’s Beauty Show in Chicago. It was a mini runway show during The Stylist’s Choice Awards with Nicole and myself from season 2 and Daisy and Ben from season 1! Here is my belated report on the goings on of season 3. My prediction for the final three came true –Matthew, Janine and Brig. It was really the only combo that has any cool dynamic. I knew they would get rid of Jon –he grew on me for sure but just wasn’t quite scandalous enough for the big finale.

The Judges:
Camila – Wow! She was even boring in her “getting to know you” chats with the stylists while they did her hair. I did like her updo in the elimination challenge. She certainly does have a head of hair to contend with too bad that’s all that is formidable about her. Her sweet nature and lovely personality just don’t “cut it”.

Jonathan-He acted so stupid when he was flabbergasted by Brig’s wacky updos. Hasn’t he ever picked up a fashion or hair magazine? He makes me nuts. I would love to judge his work.

Kim Vo – Everyone’s favorite tranny was mellow this week, maybe his meds were finally working. He also didn’t give us the scary snake tongue, which was a relief.

Oribe-The Cuban hair god did a good job, he looks good and I liked his comments. What was up with his voice though? Maybe he was out partying with Kim Vo all night before filming.

The Final Three

Janine: She is the most well rounded in a technical sense. I think her only problem is that she is focused so much on street fashion that her work isn’t as tasteful as it could be, she should either be more well rounded or more rock n roll. I think it will come down to Janine and Brig in the final two simply because of the feud between the two glorious gals.

Matthew: He has the best taste and does gorgeous high fashion styling. He does himself a disservice when he gives himself names like “The Natural” however. He should emphasize his prowess on photo shoots and agility with long sexy hair not give himself silly vague titles that don’t speak to his considerable talents. He has the best shot of acing the final fashion show challenge due to his years backstage at NY fashion week. This is precisely why he may not tho. They do love their little twists at Bravo.

Brig: She is the fun wild card. She brings life to the show and brands herself perfectly. Honey- she aint for everyone but who is? I think It remains a toss up between Janine and Brig for the big check! I hope they yell, scream and cry and claw each other’s eyes out in the final moments.

I am dying to find out who gets to wear the crown but I also don’t want it to end. I will even miss Kim Vo but then again I can just look toward Beverly Hills and see Kim Vos lips on the horizon and I will know that my trashy reality roots are always showing. Ms Vo and I will never truly part. OK bitches I must go think up some more ridiculous hair puns for my final blog! Toodles! XOXO

You can find Charlie at Click Salon in Denver and on his Web site

Shear Genius 2 on Shear Genius 3 - Charlie Price

“EDIE YOUR HEART OUT’

It’s that time again freaks. Trash-talking time, that is. Things are winding down in the Nexxus salon and people are getting on each other’s nerves. Brig hates Matthew and Janine but copies them at the same time. Janine and Matthew constantly attack Brig like mean fourth grade girls. Jon never gets any attention but doesn’t seem to care, which means we all know where that will leave him when the judges name the final three next week- yes indeedy- on a plane back home to Nashville. Finally this shit gets nasty. I love it.

THE JUDGES

CAMILA- I’m so tired of rooting for her in the hopes that she will get better at hosting – I just have no strength left for it.

JONATHAN-What the hell was his trip about calling Matthew’s sixties pony tail a Ziggy Stardust look-HUH? I Dream of Jeannie or Valley of the Dolls for sure, even Hedwig maybe –but it had not one fricking thing to do with David Bowie. He is such a dip shit.

KIM VO- He did that creepy snake tongue mixed with a smile again when Camila introduced him during the elimination judging. GROSS. I had to take a shower it made me feel so creeped out.

THINGS I LOVED

JON – I loved how he stood up for Brig and her antics. He has healthy a perspective on how personality dynamics work in a competition. Too bad he lacks the killer instinct to win.

MATTHEW SANS HUMILITY- He certainly thought he had it in the bag with that ponytail. OOPS! He should have listened to Orlando. It was a fabulous style if he would just color these chicks hair before he does his updos he would blow everybody out of the water.

JANINES GRIMACES-I love how her face wrinkles and writhes as if she were about to wretch every time Brig is around! HEAVEN!

BRIG –It is sooo fun to watch her passionate hate of the Wonder Twins fester. The fact that this negativity keeps her going is sublime. GORGEOUS!

BRIAN AND EDIE- that was ridiculous! His concept was perfect but that execution was stooopid. He told US to look up Edie Sedgwick… Clearly he needs to look it up himself. AAAWW poor dumb hot Brian, he should just do porn or something- I don’t think hairdressing is his forte. LOL!

So I’m thinking that it is gonna be a two- part finale since Jon will obviously get kicked off on episode eight. Wouldn’t it be cool if the final three had to do hair for a runway show? I dreamed that that would be my SG final challenge –no such luck… If it ends up that way I might get so excited that I could start cutting myself again! See yall here same time same tacky commentary! -XOXO    

You can find Charlie at Click Salon in Denver and on his Web site

Shear Genius 2 on Shear Genius 3 - Charlie Price

Hair Today, Gone Tomorrow

Here I am once again, my little harpies, back like clockwork and ready to trash talk about the motley hair hooligans of SG3. Episode six brought us more Brig VS Matthew and Janine, fresh new sins against the world of beauty and gobs of bad taste. Lets savor this bounty together over a frozen pizza and a gallon of Chardonnay shall we?

THE JUDGES

CAMILA- I saw a picture of her at the Oscars. I wonder if anyone there knew who she was? Her standout quip this week was when she cautioned Jon to be nice to his model as he roughly combed through her hair while he presented her for judging in the short cut challenge. I guess campaigning for client comfort is a crusade of hers. Fighting crime it is not but she does need to pretend to care a smidge about what goes on in the Nexxus Salon I suppose. Now that’s a challenge.

JONATHAN- The dorky Mr. J displayed Tourettes like behavior when he started screaming at the contestants during the elimination judging. His tirade involved something about the judges being pissed off each week because one by one the kids will go home and aren’t making a big enough effort to impress the judges. I might even consider an escape a la Giacomo myself if it meant not having to wade through Jonathan’s contradiction-laden observations. He totally lost me when he was seduced by the “bump” at the front of Janine’s up do. Her task was to make her client look like she worked at a fashion magazine not like a cocktail waitress at a strip club. He did help his sister create the look of the Pussycat Dolls, which may explain how he views fashion. Janine gets a pass because the do was acceptable (even if it didn’t quite suit the assignment) but tacky Jonathan deserves to get his own final cut.

KIM VO- Miss Vo also was all over the place with his comments. He said Matthew was screwing up his long curly “Telemundo Presenter” look during the elimination challenge but then did a 180 and chirped like a bird about how lovely it was the next. Maybe he is showing signs of brain damage due his own personal bout with “Blondarexia.” I hope he gets help; certainly there is a treatment center in Beverly Hills, no?

KEVIN MANCUSO- His comments were a drop caustic even for a mean girl like myself but he represents Nexxus infinitely better than the ridiculous and self-important Roy Teeluck.

THINGS I LOVED

APRIL GOING HOME- She outstayed her welcome and may have whined more about her professional shortcomings than even the hopelessly impotent Adee, but she did supply a few tasty morsels of reality show lunacy in the process.

MATTHEW AND JANINE- The Wonder Twins show no signs of backing off of their nauseating love affair or their dislike of Brig, which are arguably the only reasons to keep watching SG this season.

MATTHEW’S STAR CUT - Matthew has done top-notch work all season and has yet to be in the bottom of an elimination challenge. He did unfortunately sear the image of that one horrible cut forever in the memory of anyone watching. I myself was in the bottom of eliminations challenges three times, so I admire his navigation of the competition so far and have sympathy for him about the comments he may get long term as a result of this mis-step. He may get as much grief from one stinker than he will for all the excellent work he consistently shows. I speak from experience because I still get every bit as much heckling concerning my snotty attitude about doing dog hair than I get rhapsodies about my four elimination challenge wins. Whaddaya gonna do?

JANINE'S MOON CUT- I thought she nailed this short cut challenge and seems to be the best technical cutter here. Her cut was creative, beautiful, edgy and interesting at the same time. Belissimo my love!

BIG BAD BRIG- I cannot say how much I love her unilateral attacks on Matthew! She is the heartbeat of the show and is shaping up to be quite a contender. I still think she has a very good chance of snatching the prize from golden boy Matthew or scrappy Janine. GO CRAZY GIRL! GO!

SOMETHING I HATED- No matter what the challenge is the stylists keep whipping up boring and easy long wavy hair. If it is a spy challenge or an outer space challenge or what have you, these bitches produce the same desperate housewife 'do time after time. If Jonathan wanted to rip the group new assholes for something- why not that?

I will be back next week like a chronic case of crabs to let loose on episode seven! So long my vicious and vapid little voyeurs! XOXO!

You can find Charlie at Click Salon in Denver and on his Web site

Shear Genius 2 on Shear Genius 3 - Glenn Mitchell

Good thing I have DVR and record everything cause I think I fell asleep half way through this episode. I need to splash some water on my face before I can continue.........okay I'm back!

I think this short cut challenge was definitely a challenge. Cut curly hair into a graduated bob dry and then shampoo and style into a smooth, sleek style. Catch...you can't go back and "fix" the cut after you style it.

I don't want to toot my own horn. *wink wink*, but my salon is pretty well known for doing an awesome graduated bob. I perfected it years ago and taught my stylist my tricks, so I can spot a bad bob a mile away. I personally thought that this challenge could go from bad to disaster in about 3.2 seconds, but for the most part everyone did an okay job. Wait..wait...I said for the most part, and I said okay! No one really blew me away by any means, but they did have the added challenge of not being able to clean up their haircuts so I'm cutting a little slack.

Brig - "A bob can look a little maternity if it's done wrong." WHAT???? Does that mean pregnant women or moms only have bad bobs? Cause I think I see one on you Brig! She's talking about how boring graduated bobs are and how you drive on to the used car lot, buy a minivan and go to a PTA meeting and she HAS a graduated bob! OMG I'm so over this girl! And excuse me, WTF was she doing with those clippers? Looks to me like instead of taking her time and make a clean hairline she just cut it off! Her client looked none too pleased either. She was probably thinking...."the back of my head feels like my boyfriends." That is the kind of haircut you cry yourself to sleep over. Moving on.....

Brian - I think everyone would agree with me and join in saying, "SHUT THE HELL UP!" No one needs your first semester beauty school lesson on 90 and 45 degree angles. It was a bad, heavy, and overall shitty bob. You're not going to throw anyone off that fact with all your graduated bob geometry knowledge.

April - Guest Judge Moulay Yacoubi tore her a new one. You could teell she didn't enjoy the challenge and was over it. He told her she didn't do what she was asked to do and she didn't care. It wasn't a good cut and it was a worse style. The one good thing is we finally saw some personality out of April. I almost can't remember her as soon as the show is over. April who???

Janine ended up winning the challenge. She did a good bob and her client looked great. She and Matthew were at the top. Big surprise there! But back at the house I think everyone is plotting their deaths. Jealousy is an evil green eyed monster. But what goes up must eventually come down and I speak from experience.

The elimination challenge this week is very sweet! Give military wives a sexy 40's era pinup look. They will be recording a video message to send to their husbands overseas. The show could have done A LOT more to pump up the heart string factor with this challenge. I'm sure the atmosphere in the salon and on set was very emotional, but we at home didn't get to see that. I'm very disappointed! One more reason this season is just bland. Bland stylist, bland judges, bland editing!

Brig's style won the challenge and all the judges but guest judge Robert Vetica loved it. I personally agreed with him when he said it was too much going on. Heavy fringe, barrel roll on the side and down and swept back on the other. Her color did turn out beautiful, and the style wasn't bad. She did look like a pin up girl, but I think Matthew should have won. His was perfect and I loved the hairnet. I know he did it because the curls weren't lying the way he wanted and he was running out of time but I believe it worked. I think the judges just didn't want to give him another win.

Janine was bragging about this kind of styling being one of her strong suits and when she said that I knew she would not do well. The biggest challenge with this show is time. If you don't manage it well you end up trying to pull a miracle out of your ass in 3 minutes. Which feels like a lifetime when you are waiting for the stick to turn blue, but seconds when you are under the gun. Her style was just a messy up-do with a flower on the side. She, Amy, and April ended up in the bottom. April's style just didn't flow. Her finger wave was not holding together and they flowed into a curl pattern that didn't match. Amy's model looked great, but it was not 40's pin up and she didn't touch up her color. Miss Vo was ALLLLLL over that. I think April's little outburst earlier saved her cause young Amy went home. I think Amy has just been skating by anyway. She was never the worse, but never the best either. No way was she going to pull a Nicole and end up in the top 3. She has the talent to be a great stylist, but not the knowledge yet on how to execute. Time to let my Shear Genius tranquilizer take over, so until next week!

You can find Glenn at shine(salon) in Decatur, AL.

Shear Genius 2 on Shear Genius 3 - Charlie Price

Throw Her in the Brig!

Hi everyone, your favorite bitter, satanic queen is back with another Shear Genius 3 weekly round up. Our merry band of hair hookers finally started to lose their damn minds as they hit the halfway mark. I hoped for at least a teensy bit of drama and gosh-darn-it, the children served mama a heaping portion of anger, jealousy and resentment! I was as tickled as Kirstie Alley with a cheesecake, as hyped up as Lindsay Lohan clawing through her purse for a bag of a coke, and as ecstatic as Mel Gibson after a handle of vodka. Well, maybe not quite thaaat excited. No police were involved.

CAMILA: Her curly pinned up bob was a stylish and witty choice to wear for the short cut graduated bob challenge. Unfortunately her pin–up do was underwhelming for the elimination challenge and miss thing slipped backwards, showing little finesse as hostess again. I hope no one lets her see all that venom directed at her on Facebook –now that’s a beauty bloodbath!

JONATHAN: He keeps increasing the vitriol at the final judging. This week he told Brian his hairdo “sucked,” Matthew that his use of a hairnet was tantamount to cheating, and April that she would never make any money as a hairdresser. Horrible hairdressers can make tons of money - that just made him sound stupid. The other two were actually pretty valid. I think the only reason Matthew didn’t win was that he didn’t do all the hair color that Brig did. I hate to admit it but I do enjoy Jonathan, he brings ultra trashy Bravo cred to the show.

KIM VO: I loved how he ripped Amy to shreds for not doing her model’s roots! He also unveiled a brand new facial expression this week, when Camila introduced him he stuck out his tongue as he did his frightening signature smile, dangerously escalating to Michael Jackson level freakiness.

ORLANDO: I enjoyed his feedback to Janine about her wet set (wet sets are hugely risky in a timed competition because they take forever to dry and can be problematic to comb out) and how he pointed out that atrocious Amy was referencing the 20s or 30s not the 1940s. She must have still been back on the bob challenge. LOL! It is amazing how many stylists do not know their decades. I hope Senor Pita continues to speak his mind!

THE SAHAG GUY: Am I the only one that is tired of judges who have no accomplishments of their own? Assisting a great hairstylist is not in-and-of-itself a claim to fame. It just shows that instead of building his own resume he is hanging off the balls of a dead icon. He also was the wrong judge for this challenge. They should have let Orlando judge it. This guy told Brig she didn’t put any graduation into her cut. Not true. Graduation is simply a build up of weight, all the cuts had graduation, some were merely bad examples of a classic technique. He ended up looking dumber than even the confused and moronic Brian.

THINGS I LOVED:

APRIL: Uh-oh. Hooooney. Her diatribe about graduated bobs was bizarre, unreasonable and embarrassing. Her violent aversion to this cut is completely at odds with the basic tenets of hair dressing. It would be like someone being shocked and pissed about a hair challenge involving blow dryers. This was a great test! Asking a bunch of stylists to cut a dry bob on curly hair is a difficult, pure and telling way to separate the real hairdressers from the loud-mouthed charlatans. The only thing April convinced me of was that she is shitty at her job and delusional. I heard all my former teachers voices in my head chanting “you need to learn the rules before you break the rules” as April loquaciously whittled away at what little authority she had left. It seemed like all she heard in HER head were strange voices coaxing her deeper into mental illness.

MATTHEW AND JANINE BACKLASH: Finally these guys are sick of loving the fact that M&J are kicking their asses! The Jon comment about Matthew on the soapbox and Amy lamenting that they needed to be knocked of their “pedestal” were the type of conflict that reality fans live for! Matthew and Janine continue to be the most consistent and remain shoe-ins for the final three.

BRIG: This nutball did it again. She pulled together a polished pin-up look with a pretty blonde hair color. The eccentric asymmetric spin she put on the look showcased her wacky personality as well. I wonder if she might end up in the top three with Matthew and Janine. I hope the dislike between Brig and the Wonder Twins continues to simmer up to the three of them facing off in the finale. That would be something juicy to watch!

AMY: She needed to go ages ago! I understand that in a show like this you need to keep a couple dreadful contestants around to be a counter point to the good ones but this chicky babe drove me to drink, more than usual that is! Hopefully the hurt feelings will fester and the anger become all consuming hatred. I want blood next week! BLOOD I SAY!! OK. OK. I’ll settle for slapping, cussing and hair pulling. Adios my twisted little monkeys. XOXO

You can find Charlie at Click Salon in Denver and on his Web site

Daniel from Dallas is Blogging

We got a note from Daniel Lewis from season 2 of Shear Genius:

"I am so excited about Shear Genius Season 3! I have been inspired to begin a Web TV blogging site where I am currently blogging there about the New Season. You know I always have a lot to say...I mean being voted fan Favorite last year proves that people love my lip service!

Please check out the site at www.greenperidottv.com...named after my salon."

Yay! We love Daniel and are excited that he's sharing his views on the new season. Now go check it out!

Shear Genius 2 on Shear Genius 3 - Charlie Price

Did Anything Happen?

Here we are, together again, like a dysfunctional family desperately in need of a reality show intervention. Let’s ignore that and wallow in our shared lust for trashy TV like Sid and Nancy sharing a needle. Or, like Mary Kate and Ashley sharing a toilet as they purge a pepperoni pizza. Or, like Hugh Grant and Eddie Murphy sharing the ahhhh-fections of a tranny hooker. Or... Oh, you get the idea.

This week, our carefully vetted (LOL!) pack of wild hair stars kicked off with a short-cut challenge involving an abstract (huh?) hairstyle using fresh flowers. The elimination challenge dealt with the task of revamping the intricate hairstyles of the bridesmaids of a traditional Indian wedding party mid-ceremony. ZZZZZZZ…. Oops. I fell asleep. Where were we?

THE JUDGES:

CAMILA: She looked great this week wearing a side swept wave complete with a flower. (You know I loved that, kids!) She then slicked her hair back in a large beautiful chignon decorated with an Indian wedding ornament. Stunning. She cried at the wedding reception. How darling.
JONATHAN. Oh my. Big J was “borderline pissed off” about Adee’s style. Okey dokey. Maybe he had gas cramps…
KIM VO. Not much to comment on. All Miss Vo had for us this week was more of those snapped PTA-woman smiles. They often remind me of Soundgarden’s “Black Hole Sun” video. Can someone get Kim a valium, for Christ’s sake? We must calm that shit down. We must.
ORLANDO. Was he there? Another waste of the hair titan—such a shame.
HARRY JOSH. Harry is great on TV! I enjoyed his comments and think he would have made an engaging weekly judge.
TABATHA. I always love this Aussie bitch. It is such a treat to see people cower before her majesty in abject fear. Viva la diva!

THINGS I LOVED:

BRIAN. WTF! Instead of idiot, he may be an idiot savant. Interesting. He added an element of the unexpected to the otherwise dour hour. I doubt if he can keep it up though, his taste is sooo bad and he seems incapable of strategy. His clay flower twist was great and had a dynamic shape. He did have one fleeting chic moment here. He certainly called it when he said his elimination challenge model wanted to look like Kim Kardashian. Everyone in the room, save for the atrocious Amy, did a version of Kim on their ladies as well. Brian’s was the best Kim of the night. He will remain on SG for at least two more episodes with this double win, so one can expect that he will continue to further chip away at the dignity of our industry in those fourteen days.
ADEE. Thank god this wanker finally got the boot. He did manage to etch out an unforgettable portrait of himself as a complete moron and excruciating whiner though. I have never heard someone be so clueless about their profession whilst simultaneously bragging about how brilliant they are. He mentioned Beckham so many times that I wondered if the soccer star had his attorney’s draft a cease-and-desist order. My personal favorite was his constant way of blathering on about how his numerous assistants do virtually everything for him, as if this somehow explained away his utter ineptness at his craft. Adee on SG3 is a case of a macho hetero hairdresser at his egomaniacal and insecure worst. It’s as if styling and coloring are so beneath him and only ugly severe cuts deserve his golden hands. It was mean spirited fun to watch his puffed up cocky ass take hits week after week only to have him scamper away in defeat. Aww, Adee. It’s tough love, mate. Tough love. Maybe he went back to jolly old England and took a color class… Yeah. Prolly not. He is most likely driving some poor team of assistants to tears, as we speak, in hopes of somehow propping himself back up to his former pre-American TV glory. Now there’s a visual.

Normally, I also write about things I loved to hate, but this week’s show was so bland, I wanted to throw hot sauce all over it. I always enjoy a hair show—good, bad or heinous—but not even Tabatha and Brig’s showdown made me wanna slap my mama. Wouldn’t it be cool if April overdosed or Brig slapped Janine or Jon made Matthew cry? I’ll be here next week to talk serious shit even if they don’t

–XOXO. Farewell, my sweet little demons.

You can find Charlie at Click Salon in Denver and on his Web site

Shear Genius 2 on Shear Genius 3 - Charlie Price

Extended Remix

Hello, children. It’s your wicked step mother Charlie, and it’s time for another reality show bitchfest! So, sit back like Goldie Hawn in Death Becomes Her and eat that frosting right outta the can with your fingers. No. Really. I mean it. Do it. I want you to be comfortable. Can I get you anything before we start? A blanket? A line of blow? Just kidding (not really). Off we go, kids!

This week, I think I figured out what is missing from this season, a VILLAIN. Brig’s BS is fab, Adee’s perpetual outrage is a laugh, and Brian’s empty-headed musings are a must, but where, oh where, lays the EVIL, I ask you? Jon tries to be a bitch, but even he’s not invested in his own limp insults. I still love my SG, but there is a definitely not enough discord. Never underestimate the power and entertainment value of stinging verbal salvos and bitter contestant-on-contestant violence.

THE JUDGES:

CAMILA. She was better this week. I giggled when she told Adee to, “slow down his horses,” and then schooled him on how models and hairstylists often don’t get to pick the photos during an editorial shoot. She showed authority and credibility. The tête-à-tête she engaged Jonathan in pertaining to Jon being “very rough” with his model, I found quite cute as well. We just might make a host of you yet, mi amiga bonita!

JONATHAN. His critique of Adee and Faatemah made me recall the boisterous and dick-ish Jonathan of yore. This time, however, he at least had a point. He was right on with his comments about how the contestants performed on a photo set. Maybe he is a real hairstylist after all.

KIM VO. My favorite tranny didn’t really have any memorable quips this week. His single ham-fisted attempt was (to Brig): “Don’t put baby in the corner,” which didn’t come close to his usual oeuvre of painfully cheesy zingers. YAWN!

GUEST JUDGE KEN PAVES. I like Ken—he’s good people. It was hilarious to see him sitting on the same panel as Miss Vo. They reminded me of Amanda Lepore and Sophia Lamar perched up there. LOL!

THINGS I LOVED:

THE SHORT CUT CHALLENGE. Men with extensions—how divine! It was such mischievous pleasure to gawk at a room full of (presumably) hetero hombres as they were unceremoniusly emasculated on national television. Amy’s model anyone? LMAO! In a similar vein as the hairy chested bikini babes of episode one, no one could truly “win” this challenge—they all ended up looking ridiculous. NOW THAT’S SHEAR GENIUS.

MATTHEW AND JANINE. I was smitten with Janine when she called Matthew her “gusband” and compared the two of them to Karen and Jack. What was priceless, though, was Matthew’s sour expression in reaction to such a notion. Him, Jack? Never, darling. Never. Better still was Janine’s puss when Matthew proclaimed unequivocally that HE was the one in charge when the judges liked the results of their collaboration. I’m hoping they turn into frenemies, but I bet it won’t come to that.

BRIG—GO BITCH! You picked a fight, slapped some yellow extensions in yer hair, and ended up in the top two! Matthew and Janine did do a bang up job on their models, but you achieved virtually as good a result on, not one, but two models flying solo, and chewing up scenery to boot. You may go the distance after all, my precious little freak of nature.

THINGS I LOVED TO HATE!

ADEE. Poor thing. It’s such a shame that his most memorable moment on the show so far was when he puked in a bucket. All right. All right. It WAS fantastic that he shouted “Fuck that photo!” during judging. I have to admit it.

MATTHEW’S LARGESSE. It was classic when Matthew, after winning the short-cut challenge, said something like: “This look represents everything I stand for. It’s ‘true organic beauty.’” Didn’t you just put extensions in a man’s hair in an effort to give him a bigger and sexier look? Sooo organic, punkin! Another self indulgent Matthew-ism was: “I don’t toot my own horn but…” LOL! Eccentricities and illusions of grandeur aside, Matthew is obviously the most skilled and talented stylist here. Janine and Jon seem to be his only competition. When this much adulation from the judges is lavished so early, though, one should brace for them to pounce on even the tiniest mistake with unbridled fury. He and Janine will almost certainly make it to the end with Jon or possibly even (dare I say it) Brig talking the final slot in the top three.

FORGETTABLE CAST

Amy sucks and doesn’t cry nearly enough to be “the crier.” April has yet to interest me in the slightest, even her cockiness about being known at Conde Nast for doing men’s hair fabulously was a complete bore. Whatever. Brian’s goofy concentration on getting his models “into character” was lackluster TV as well. SNOOZE!

SOMETHING I HATED

They kicked off Faatemah?!! She was one of the only people giving good (and funny) face on the interviews. Why not lose dull-as-a-doorknob April or über-annoying Amy. I almost feel that they might bring her back for some crazy twist later. (à la Chris from Project Runway). I pray they do something that could amp this shit up a notch since there is no stimulating carnage to drool over.

That’s it, children. Run off to bed now. Put mummy’s chardonnay down first, okay? HAAAAIIRRR IIIISSS IMMPORRRTANT!

You can find Charlie at Click Salon in Denver and on his Web site.

Shear Genius 2 on Shear Genius 3 - Parker Plotkin

Well…finally an episode where someone else is dry heaving about the challenges other than me…

Don’t you find it odd that in the last episode, the elimination challenge surrounded food from The Dakota restaurant at The Roosevelt Hotel, and this week Adee had food poisoning.
Hmmm… I hope everyone is washing their hands after their restroom breaks.

On a side note…

It was nice to see Joel Warren as a guest Judge last week; both Warren-Tricomi and thedavidKspace (where I serve as salon director) are 2 of 5 L’Oreal national academies in the country. I give him a lot of credit and props for his styling and color prowess.

Either way, Adee was brilliantly exempted from the horrifying challenge of turning (mostly middle aged guys) into Fabio-esque middle-aged guys, with mullets.

Speaking of mullets, both Faatemah, and Amy (who I do really like btw) really made a clear case for why men going through a mid life crisis should always choose a high performance car over a bad rug.

Ken Paves was the judge on this particular challenge. I was really a little surprised to not hear J. Simpsons name tossed around on his client list.

Matthew was the judge’s favorite on this challenge, and while technically his models extentions were fairly seamless, I’m not sure that increasing the diameter of his already wooly Afro was all that flattering.

My picks for this challenge was Janine and Brian.

By the way I do LOVE BRIG… I’m not sure if she is the most talented. Who knows who is.
It is after all reality television.

Next we have the elimination challenge…

The Romance Novel Cover Shoot

Truly Adee should have saved a few nuggets of nausea for this one.

Matthew got first pick, and paired everyone up, and poor Brig was on her own (how fortunate for her). But in true Brig style she skated through successfully.

Brian and Amy had "Red feather reservations" but with no red feather. His men’s style looked like post homeless sex hair… not sexy at all.

Adee’s Daniel Day- Lewis was really great in terms of both style and cut. Highly overrated beauty school stylist/judge Jonathan Antin pointed out heatedly, that the cut Adee had done was irrelevant to an on set photo shoot. I agree with this to an extent (even though it came out of Jonathan’s mouth. I know, hard to believe). However, the show is called “Shear Genius,” and if cutting is totally irrelevant, than what is the world coming to.

I think Faatemah could have gone farther, but last night just wasn’t her night.

You can find Parker at the David K Space in Florida and on his Web site.

Shear Genius 2 on Shear Genius 3 - Paulo Candido

OMG! Can we talk? Can we talk here? Where on God’s good green earth did they find these male models or I should say... Amy’s model?!?! “Do you know what you’re doing?..My hair isn’t gonna fall out or anything?”…….Ummmmm…No. Here’s how this works Mr Throw-Back Malboro Man Wanna-be Neanderthal. We are about to perform a Hair-o-cism and extinguish those nasty little 1974 ways from your dark and tainted soul. We will set it free so that it might slither away into the bowels of hell from whence they came. We are going to bring you into the modern age of men. Men who call themselves……..wait for it……..Metrosexuals. Where we wax away unwanted hair from our brows to our balls. We get facials (no, not like the one you saw in that b-rate porno last week)…we get updated haircuts, wear clothes that are not plaid and more than a year old. We traded in the fruit-of-the-looms for boxers to allow the man-berries freedom! We even carry a murse…..a man’s purse! Yes my dear Mr TBMMWN….welcome to the new you! …..oh did I mention I was gonna glue on some gorilla ball hair to the sides of your head??? Oh..I didn’t?? LOL…silly me.

Oh Addee…enough with the arrogant uncut British crap. Seriously. Maybe it should have been Addee walking out instead of Mufasa .aka ..Giacomo. “Going down like a whore at the Vatican”…hmm…did you plan that in honor of Ash Wednesday? Sad when your model puts you in check.
Mmmmmm…puke. Love it.
Oh my…Amy’s model looks like he just saw Kim Vo’s lips walk into the salon.
Matthew- Fabulous!! Guy looked amazing. Totally man candy
Brian- much better after. Disagree with peppermint patty comment.
Brig- oh..welcome back 80s
Janine- interesting. Kinda of looks like a reverse comb-over
Fateema- whoa..is that The Vampire Lestat? I think he wants to suck her blood in revenge for that crazy mullet-mutation
April- ouch Bea Arthur comment…go Ken go…..the guy looks like he’s got ‘wind in the face’
Jon- hmm..interesting…you managed to teach your model…the Gay Flick of the hair
Amy- well it did look horrid. All he needed were some gold chains. I agree with the model, but also wished he had just kept his mouth shut. Doesn’t he look like he might own a gun-rack?

Go Matt and your organic sexiness…whatever the hell that means. Nice guns btw.

So Jon doesn’t read romance novels, but he reads porn. Let’s explore that. Reading……Porn. Do men really read porn?? Is porn meant to be read? Last time I checked, and I do check often…..Porn is watched. Looked at. Stroked to. Rubbed to. Not read…..silly kitty cat. And what happened to your nose? Did you fall down in the hippie pool?

OH OH….TEAM CHALLENGE!!!!!

Oh Matthew has such an advantage….oohhh girl…POWER!!! This is the material that gives you a BONER!!

Can I just say I would love to smoke a peace pipe with Orlando and Brian….well I would have to duct tape Brian’s mouth though.

The Judging

Matt and Janine- not bad. Looked a little like Fabio. They worked well together.

Brian and Amy- horrible. The guy looked like an S.O.S. pad exploded on his head. The girl’s hair looked like ti was done by Helen Keller….mmm…not good.

Brig- hideous. Were the judges stoned?

Jon and April- girl looked good….guy looked like shit

Adee and Fatima- OMG…crap. Crazy thing is that I understood Adee at this point. His whole thing is the haircut. Everything revolves around the strong foundation of a well executed haircut. BUT…in this case its not about the haircut execution..it’s about the total end look. At the end of the day, the judges were looking at the final picture..haircut is irrelevant. Sooo…with that being said……I LOVE THE WAY HE WENT OFF!!! I was lauging so hard I almost peed my pants. He is such a loose cannon.

So Kim Vo really really liked Brig's work. It screamed of sexxxxxxxx……mmmm. And the way he said it….ewww. It was like a perverted possessed Chucky doll. That kinda freaked me out. Chill kitty kat!

Matt, Janine, and Brig in the top 3. Yay!! Matt is on a hot streak!!! Woohoo

Adee and Fateema in the bottom. If Adee stays, I’ll be shocked and pissed.

Drummmmmroooooolllllllllllllllll………….

WHAT?!?!?! WHAT?!!?!?!? WHAT THE FFFF>>>>>>>>>>…..???????????

OMG…….WOW…….I need a drink….peace out…..

You can find Paulo at EgoMechanix Salon in San Jose, CA, and on his Web site,http://www.egomechanixsalon.com/

Shear Genius 2 on Shear Genius 3 - Charlie Price

“What were they thinking!”

Welcome back for another online snark attack with your scathing, satanic blogger—ME! Okay, SG3—Week TWO: I have much more to say than last week. Let’s let it rip, shall we?

The Judges:
Camila—I wasn’t crazy about the braided side-bun she sported during the Shortcut Challenge, but I did fancy the big and sexy frizzy-do she donned for the Elimination Challenge (was Hairdo One simply the set and Hairdo Two the comb-out? Hmmm). I also love her flowing caftan-esque gowns, BUT her presentation skills leave a lot to be desired. She also lost the spicy bite of last week, except for one fleeting little moment when she coldly banished Arzo, ordering her to say her goodbyes and leave (after Arzo accused her of unfair judging). That was her only mildly zesty moment. Come on, MOMMY, bring it harder for the gays next week. PLEASE!

Jonathan—For someone who usually is so obnoxious, I found him bland this week. He seemed almost bored (but not as bored as I was watching him. LOL!).

Orlando—I’m getting the feeling (from the re-caps, blogs and viewer comments) that the general audience, including many hairdressers, doesn’t have a clue how significant a figure this man is in the fashion world. Unfortunately, his elegant quiet personality just isn’t dynamic and tele-genic enough for those poor peasants who don’t know about him to bother finding out why they should.

Kim Vo—Kim, I know you are a friendly guy, but that psychotic grin that is forever plastered across your mug doesn’t evoke “nice lady “ like you think it does. It just reads “insane.” A couple more things. ONE: you can shout “BLONDEREXIC” over and over again, but it will never become some national catchphrase. TWO: You can conjure up doozies like “interracial snowman,” but it doesn’t take the place of actual judging. Having said all of that, you have successfully etched out a twisted little place for your self in the pantheon of reality show freaks, which is a niche even I could admire…

Guest Judge—Mr. Warren, it is a slippery slope to tell Brig that there is nothing “classy” about her tiramisu inspired up-do when doing so in a decidedly heavy, down-market New Jersey accent. Call me crazy but something tells me that Brig’s obviously calculated agenda on SG3 does not include being “classy!”

Things I Loved:

The Challenges—One technical color challenge and one quite pretentious and silly challenge. Cheeseburger as avante-garde hairdo was my personal favorite absurd artistic sartorial proposition to consider.

Jon’s winning SCALLOP FRENCH TWIST—He did a smooth tasteful style with high fashion bangs. It managed to be both pretty and creative at the same time. The color was well done, and I adored how he interpreted the scallops with bleached hair. I hope this love/hate with Matthew boils up into something frothy and toxic in future episodes. Mama’s hungry fer some fuedin’, stylists!

Janine and Faatemah—I loved Janine’s messy “salad” look and I thought Faatemah did a lovely blonde hair color in the Shortcut Challenge—and nobody beats her commentary.

Matthew’s work—He was confident, adventurous and well-spoken. I admire what he did with the tragic blonde tranny (did she have an anxiety disorder BTW? She seemed to twitch an awful lot.). The sushi bouffant he whipped up was tasteful, skillful and chic. I think he would have won if the fishtail hadn’t loosened.

BRIG!—Some have said she was trying way to hard—I say she is the only one trying at all—she’s good TV! Keep up the wackiness, babe!!!

Things I Loved To Hate

Adee—He doesn’t have the pathos of Brig, but his angry swagger is amusing.
The fact that he is a mediocre talent only enhances all his cussing and frustration. I betcha he will end up staying around passed the half way mark.

GIACOMO! WTF ?—One minute you are ripping your shirt off and peacocking around bare-chested. Then, without warning, you bow out at the beginning of episode two!!?? Don’t pretend you went through the whole casting process then left because you missed your kids. YOU ARE A WIMP! The best part is your cowardice will live on film FOREVER! ENJOY!

Arzo—OH, HONEY, you didn’t really think these shows are judged fairly, did you? Maybe if you weren’t so completely banal they would have seen how skilled you actually are. Of course yours wasn’t the worst! Sooo not the point…

BRIAN!!!—That shit you came up with was busy, frizzy and made me dizzy, girl. Camila, Kim, and Jonathan must have been on ecstasy, because you should have been sent home for that atrocity. Even Amy’s hideous style was better than your indiscretion. BARF!! WHAT WERE THEY THINKING?!

Remember, kids: HAIR IS IMPORTANT. Until next week, bitches…

You can find Charlie at Click Salon in Denver and on his Web site.

Shear Genius 2 on Shear Genius 3 - Paulo Candido

Paulo Candido offers his thoughts on episode 2 in "live blog" format:

OMFG......Giacomo just left??? You miss your kids?!?!? SERIOUSLY?!? WTF? There are thousands of people out there who would have given up their left tit or nut for a spot on the cast and this guy leaves at the beginning of the second episode?? Let me put this into a different perspective. Based on our experience with season 2, episode 2 is the 3rd day of filming. Factor in a couple of days for commercials and promo stuff and the time in the hotel being considered...thats less than 2 weeks. Seriously, you miss your kids that much?! I think he really blew it on that move.

And all I can say is that Brig is clever as hell. I loved her strategy on getting Matthew to go for the bait. I laughed my ass off. I mean you're standing there freaking out about the challenge and all it's time constraints and unrealistic expectations...I digress...and you're wondering what the hell you're gonna do. This girl does that and maps out a strategy about models??? WOW...go girl!

Poor Einstein. Stressful enough doing the challenge and making every second count, then you get bleach in your model's eye. Oh dear.....

Adee, Adee, Adee....he cracks me up.

How many times did Kim Vo say the word Blonderexic?!? 300?? LOL.. Botoxerexic?

Whoa, didnt see that one coming...Matthew rocked that one out. Model looked great.

This is an interesting challenge. Inspired by food. I will say that so far the challenges have been interesting. Oh and that beautiful salon that they are working in. Very spacious....do you sense the sarcasm yet?? lol

Wow there are some big personalities on this season. WOW.

Ok for the record. I don't care much for Jonathan Antin. He may be famous and all but he does nothing really to inspire me. But he sure as hell makes me laugh at some of the shit that comes out of his mouth. I loved it when he dropped an F-bomb during the judging. Hilarious. Kim Vo is Kim Vo. Bless him. BUT NO JACLYN SMITH?!? NOOOOOOOOOOO! She brought something to the show that Camila Alves lacks..GREATLY...and that is....grace. When Jaclyn would kick a stylist off, she had such a compassion that was so real. Camila, with that annoying accent, dismisses you off as if you're the spawn of Satan. It's like...Sorry, this is your final cut...now get out. Don't let the door hit ya where the good Lord split ya.

You can find Paulo at EgoMechanix Salon in San Jose, CA, and on his Web site,http://www.egomechanixsalon.com/

Shear Genius 2 on Shear Genius 3 - Charlie Price

I’m happier than a label whore at a D&G clearance sale - Shear Genius is finally back!! I love watching the freaks, bad attitudes and tacky outfits - and baby all the DRAMA. So - here we go child! Lets talk some shit shall we?

Lets start with the judges:

1. Camila Alves. The pretty lady did well enough I thought, she is charming and will do just fine. True she doesn’t have the polished speaking chops of a Jaclyn or Padma -but I say give the hottie a fair shot anyway (plus who doesn’t adore a sexy Spanish accent ?).
   
2. Jonathan Antin was a pleasant surprise. He was the last douche on his masturbatory ego–fest of a show “Blow Out“ –but here he seemed like a credible and fair judge –who knew?
   
3. Orlando Pita – I have not a bad word to say about this true hair genius. I just wonder-Why THIS gig PAPI? You are sooo above it ! My only guess is maybe he just wants to connect with the salon hairstylist – to further push his line of products for T3 –who knows? If its something along those lines honey, who can blame him.?
   
4. Kim Vo –What can I say –after Armageddon there will be Cher, cockroaches and Miss Vo’s lips.

Things I LOVED:

1. Janine’s spunkiness, Demi voice –and that siiick hairdo –GORGEOUS!
   
2. Faatemah- A hilarious breath of fresh air – I cant wait to see more of her.
   
3. The two ridiculous challenges! – Lets all pray they get even more ridiculous OK?
   
4. Adee freaking out and screaming in a heavy English accent then kicking the Nexus displays around startling the shit out of the other contestants in the process --LMAO!!
   
5. Brian’s hippy- dippy-and trippy routine completed with an artfully placed fart joke. GROSS!

Things I loved to HATE:

1. Matthew saying “google me” LOL
   
2. Amy’s braided hair bra –that was painful and delightful at the same time!
   
3. Brig’s rollerskate shtick –Oh my! She is a special type of attention whore that Brig!
   
4. The bottom three hairdos (which harshly brought to light that hairy chests just aren’t pretty-and- that maybe just maybe- not ALL of these kids truly are “the best of the best”)
   
5. Giacomo taking of his shirt OY VEY!

I can’t wait! I want MORE! MORE! MORE! Shear Genius RULES! – Ill see all you bitches next week-xoxo-Charlie

You can find Charlie at Click Salon in Denver and on his Web site.