Thursday, July 02, 2009

Memo to Real Housewives of New Jersey

Ladies, we love us some Real Housewives but I have to admit that after the first episode of Real Housewives of New Jersey I was more than a little bit bored. We learned that Dina Manzo has to balance having a blossoming daughter with a growing career and running a charity. We discovered that Jacqueline Laurita was attempting to conceive another child. We witnessed that Teresa Guidice was trying to get her adorable daughter a modeling/acting career while building a mega McMansion. And, well, Caroline Manzo loves her family. This is not the stuff of riveting television. Why should we watch? It is because of Danielle Staub that we tuned in each week and the rest of the cast had better accept that she is the star that gets them on talk shows and magazine covers.

Danielle Staub is the train wreck gift that keeps on giving. In the first episode we were treated to her 'relationship' with "GucciModel" and in later outings we found out about 'Cop Without a Badge' and her former name and her sleazy much younger boyfriend and her sleazy ex-husband. We saw a woman that wanted to be friends with Dina who thought that she wanted to "skin her and wear her like last year's Versace." What would the 'Last Supper' episode be without "Pay attention, puh-leaze" and Teresa's table flipping and Caroline's denouement? We would have a group of ladies talking endlessly about Teresa's bubbies and her husband's insatiable libido while they noshed on raw oysters.

Last week Danielle was conspicuously seated across the aisle at Cipriani Wall Street from her other cast mates during the taping of The Fashion Show finale and today she was snubbed from 'Live with Regis and Kelly.'

Ladies, pay attention, puh-leaze. Danielle will be the reason to negotiate a more lucrative contract. She brings the drama and drives the story. Think of that when you are considering an onyx bathroom or a new pair of Louboutins. You don't have to love Danielle to respect that she makes your series as interesting as Kim Zolciak makes Real Housewives of Atlanta. You might find yourselves uncomfortable with her but that is the point, isn't it? Reality shows thrive upon tension. If you squirm at least you're taking us along for the ride. We wanted to love RHoNJ and Danielle delivered the goods.

And, seriously, what did you think she was going to do to you on Regis and Kelly?