Friday, February 19, 2010

Shear Genius 2 on Shear Genius 3 - Paulo Candido

OMG! Can we talk? Can we talk here? Where on God’s good green earth did they find these male models or I should say... Amy’s model?!?! “Do you know what you’re doing?..My hair isn’t gonna fall out or anything?”…….Ummmmm…No. Here’s how this works Mr Throw-Back Malboro Man Wanna-be Neanderthal. We are about to perform a Hair-o-cism and extinguish those nasty little 1974 ways from your dark and tainted soul. We will set it free so that it might slither away into the bowels of hell from whence they came. We are going to bring you into the modern age of men. Men who call themselves……..wait for it……..Metrosexuals. Where we wax away unwanted hair from our brows to our balls. We get facials (no, not like the one you saw in that b-rate porno last week)…we get updated haircuts, wear clothes that are not plaid and more than a year old. We traded in the fruit-of-the-looms for boxers to allow the man-berries freedom! We even carry a murse…..a man’s purse! Yes my dear Mr TBMMWN….welcome to the new you! …..oh did I mention I was gonna glue on some gorilla ball hair to the sides of your head??? Oh..I didn’t?? LOL…silly me.

Oh Addee…enough with the arrogant uncut British crap. Seriously. Maybe it should have been Addee walking out instead of Mufasa .aka ..Giacomo. “Going down like a whore at the Vatican”…hmm…did you plan that in honor of Ash Wednesday? Sad when your model puts you in check.
Mmmmmm…puke. Love it.
Oh my…Amy’s model looks like he just saw Kim Vo’s lips walk into the salon.
Matthew- Fabulous!! Guy looked amazing. Totally man candy
Brian- much better after. Disagree with peppermint patty comment.
Brig- oh..welcome back 80s
Janine- interesting. Kinda of looks like a reverse comb-over
Fateema- that The Vampire Lestat? I think he wants to suck her blood in revenge for that crazy mullet-mutation
April- ouch Bea Arthur comment…go Ken go…..the guy looks like he’s got ‘wind in the face’
Jon- hmm..interesting…you managed to teach your model…the Gay Flick of the hair
Amy- well it did look horrid. All he needed were some gold chains. I agree with the model, but also wished he had just kept his mouth shut. Doesn’t he look like he might own a gun-rack?

Go Matt and your organic sexiness…whatever the hell that means. Nice guns btw.

So Jon doesn’t read romance novels, but he reads porn. Let’s explore that. Reading……Porn. Do men really
read porn?? Is porn meant to be read? Last time I checked, and I do check often…..Porn is watched. Looked at. Stroked to. Rubbed to. Not read…..silly kitty cat. And what happened to your nose? Did you fall down in the hippie pool?


Oh Matthew has such an advantage….oohhh girl…POWER!!! This is the material that gives you a BONER!!

Can I just say I would love to smoke a peace pipe with Orlando and Brian….well I would have to duct tape Brian’s mouth though.

The Judging

Matt and Janine- not bad. Looked a little like Fabio. They worked well together.

Brian and Amy- horrible. The guy looked like an S.O.S. pad exploded on his head. The girl’s hair looked like ti was done by Helen Keller….mmm…not good.

Brig- hideous. Were the judges stoned?

Jon and April- girl looked good….guy looked like shit

Adee and Fatima- OMG…crap. Crazy thing is that I understood Adee at this point. His whole thing is the haircut. Everything revolves around the strong foundation of a well executed haircut. BUT…in this case its not about the haircut’s about the total end look. At the end of the day, the judges were looking at the final picture..haircut is irrelevant. Sooo…with that being said……I LOVE THE WAY HE WENT OFF!!! I was lauging so hard I almost peed my pants. He is such a loose cannon.

So Kim Vo really really liked Brig's work. It screamed of sexxxxxxxx……mmmm. And the way he said it….ewww. It was like a perverted possessed Chucky doll. That kinda freaked me out. Chill kitty kat!

Matt, Janine, and Brig in the top 3. Yay!! Matt is on a hot streak!!! Woohoo

Adee and Fateema in the bottom. If Adee stays, I’ll be shocked and pissed.


WHAT?!?!?! WHAT?!!?!?!? WHAT THE FFFF>>>>>>>>>>…..???????????

OMG…….WOW…….I need a drink….peace out…..

You can find Paulo at EgoMechanix Salon in San Jose, CA, and on his Web site,